RAMS vs Browns picks of destiny for SB XLIX

http://www.dailynewsen.com/sports/destiny-calls-the-spokesman-review-h2592144.html

Columnist Norman Chad selects Johnny Manziel’s Cleveland Browns and St. Louis as his Teams of Destiny.
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Normally, I choose my NFL Teams of Destiny following hundreds of hours poring more than game film, scouting reports and sabermetrical data, plus a quick get in touch with to Ron Jaworski.*

(*-To be truthful, there’s no such issue as a “quick call” to the ESPN analyst – Jaws could do a 75-minute, one-man show off-Broadway in which all he discusses is Aaron Rodgers’ footwork.)

But this season I’m breaking the mold and picking like a fan: Johnny Manziel and Greg Zuerlein.

Yes, the Cleveland Browns, who haven’t won a playoff game in 20 years or an NFL title in 50 years, will meet the St. Louis Rams, who haven’t made the playoffs since 2004 and have precisely one NFL title due to the fact 1951, in Super Bowl 49.

I love watching Johnny Manziel.

As Rick says in “Casablanca,” “It seems that destiny has taken a hand.” And unlike the 19 teams that passed him over, I do not want to be staring in a mirror months from now, asking myself, “How could I not take Johnny Football to lead my Group of Destiny?”

(Brian Hoyer? Please. Nice guy. And he’ll be the Browns’ beginning quarterback for anywhere in between one quarter of a game and 1-quarter of a season.)

As I took in a Texas A&M game on Tv final season, I pointed to No. two on the screen and told my Gannon University-bound-on- basketball-scholarship stepson Isaiah Eisendorf, “That man is transformative.”

I do not even known what transformative is, but Manziel feels like it.

He’s not Johnny Foosball or Johnny Actuary or Johnny Forensic Scientist. He’s Johnny Football.

I could possibly get my very first tattoos – “Johnny” on my left earlobe, “Football” on my proper earlobe.

If Manziel does not function out, Jimmy Haslem will just make him work off his contract as a evening manager at Pilot Flying J.

Of course, amongst the lots of obstacles Manziel wants to overcome is himself.

As I create this, he is climbing the pole at a gentlemen’s club in Cuyahoga Falls, shouting out like Tarzan with a Mojito in his left hand.

(Yes, he likes to have a very good time so did Don Johnson when he starred on “Miami Vice,” and you didn’t see NBC replace him with Donny Osmond.)

I think in Manziel. He could make a play trapped inside a freight elevator. I am proud to be sewn to Johnny Football’s mobile hip we’ll scramble down the red carpet together or we’ll be run out on a rail.

Apart from, the city of Cleveland is on a roll: Manziel has come to the Browns, LeBron’s coming back to the Cavaliers, the Republicans are coming in 2016. Heck, if Ikea comes to town, Couch Slouch could be on the subsequent Greyhound to Akron.

Yes, the Error on the Lake is about to turn out to be Galore on the Shore.

As for the Rams, I know they are in the NFL’s toughest division and the Seahawks, 49ers and Cardinals all are better than them. Major deal. Issues change and stuff happens.

I know they lost their franchise quarterback, Sam Bradford, to a season-ending ACL injury. But stepping in is reliably underrated Shaun Hill. Becoming that he attended the University of Maryland in 2000 and 2001, Hill undoubtedly spent a lot more time on the football field than in the classroom, and now that added gridiron education is gonna spend off!!!

Plus the Rams have otherworldly Greg Zuerlein, the Kurt Warner of kickers. His leg is so highly effective, he could kick a field goal from Soldier Field that would be superior at Lambeau Field. All Hill wants to do is drive the Rams to midfield or so three times a half.

I believe Greg the Leg will make a 70-yarder to win the NFC championship game.

And then I will openly cheer for Michael Sam to be back on the Rams’ active roster as he attempts to become the NFL’s very first openly gay defensive finish who is a distraction to Tony Dungy to win the Super Bowl.

Q. You erred when you integrated Branch Rickey in your “Mount Rushmore of sports owners.” He wasn’t an owner, he was a group president. (Brian Sikes Indianapolis)

A. As I’ve normally mentioned, a public-college education can only take you so far apart from, back then, tuition at the University of Maryland was just $440 a semester, so no one in my loved ones expected the next Isaac Newton to emerge.

Q. How about the Mount Rushmore of subway systems? (Erin Abbott Spokane)

A. Paris Metro, London Underground, New York City subway, Hong Kong MTR. Meanwhile, my hometown of Washington, D.C., has a extremely clean subway program that shuts down late at night and breaks down at all hours – sort of like the federal government.

Q. Do you have plans for a Mount Rushmore of ex-wives? (Bob Groves Romney, W.Va.)

A. That was erected in 2003 outside of D.C. Superior Court.

Norman Chad is a syndicated columnist. You can enter his $1.25 Ask The Slouch Money Giveaway. Just e mail asktheslouch@aol.com and, if your query is applied, you win $1.25 in cash!