If the State of the Union Address Were Written by a High-School Sophomore

If the State of the Union Address Were Written the Night Before by a High-School Sophomore

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/if-the-state-of-the-union-address-were-written-the-night-before-by-a-high-school-sophomore?mbid=social_facebook

George Washington once wisely said, “Arbitrary power is most easily established on the ruins of liberty abused to licentiousness.” As you might know, Mr. Washington (1732-1799) was the first President of this great nation of ours, the United States of America (or “the U.S.A.,” as it is sometimes called). Washington was super-influential—not one but in fact two states (Washington and Washington, D.C.) were named after him, as was George Washington University, where, incidentally, my Uncle Rob went to school. It is now 2015, and the United States of America, the country that Americans call home, is two hundred and thirty-nine years old. While we have made great progress in some areas, there are other areas in which the grand nation that is America could do better. This State of the Union address will address the union about the state of the economy, foreign policy, and the general state of this country.

Since the beginning of time, man has required money to exchange for goods, services, and other needs. While one may argue that money is the root of all evil, it cannot be denied that money is a necessary part of the economy. Furthermore, all the classes require money to function: the upper classes, the middle classes, and even the lower classes. Americans toil at their jobs, be they investment bakers or schoolteachers or movie stars or fast-food workers or people who work at grocery stores or people who work at shoe stores, and so on. Jobs are what make this country, the U.S.A., stupendous. However, while lots of people have jobs, there are still people who do not. We, the union, vow to improve the state, by continuing to work hard so that more people can have jobs.

America is a country on the planet Earth, surrounded by many other countries, including Canada and Mexico. In total, there are a hundred and ninety-six countries in the world, spread over seven continents. (The U.S.A. is part of a continent called North America.) America has good relationships with some of these countries. But other countries are more dubious about America, mostly due to the fact of terrorism. It cannot be denied that terrorism is a troublesome phenomenon and that fighting terrorism is a good idea. Not liking terrorism is what makes this country, the U.S.A., so magnificent. If terrorism could be eradicated from the face of the Earth, fewer Americans would have a problem with it, and we would be able to vacation in more countries.

Over all, the union is very sturdy, thanks due to the countless efforts by citizens of the United States, of which there are fifty in all, including New Mexico, California, Maine, Iowa, West Virginia, East Virginia, and so on. Many of our great states and cities have their own identities. For example, the Golden State Warriors, which is the official N.B.A. (“National Basketball Association”) team of Oakland, California, have great players, such as point guard Stephen Curry, and are currently dominating the Pacific division in standings, whereas the L.A. Clippers, the official team of L.A. (“Los Angeles”), are behind in standings, but still quite respectable, though they took quite a hit with the injury of Jamal Crawford. While there are still some issues facing politics within this nation, America is doing considerably better than countries such as Canada, in which zero people seem to even talk about their President. Not being Canadian is, after all, what makes this country, the U.S.A., so excellent.

In conclusion, the United States is a great country that is responsible for great things, including the iPhone, Beyoncé, and all-you-can-eat Chinese buffets. And let’s not forget one Mr. George Washington, who, as was stated earlier, was the first President of the United States of America. What does the future of America hold? Only time will tell. Thank you, and God bless America.