I am sad

This topic has 17 replies, 11 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 7 months ago by InvaderRam.

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March 23, 2015 at 3:22 pm #21320

Herzog
Participant

I haven’t posted here in over a decade. I am so deeply sad that I have decided to use this forum to express my inner thoughts. Call this my virtual couch.

I don’t have any kids. So I have always felt a very big bond to my nephews and nieces. They are the closest things I have to kids. My 25 year old nephew got married this january. He’s a deeply religious kid. He was so greatful to God about the blessing that is his marriage that he started waking up at four o’clock in the morning to pray in Thanks.

As it turned out, he has developed a habit of sleeping almost nothing at all and started to develop some mental issues and even started hallucinating.
His family is visiting for a week, and I don’t recognize him. He has been to a very good doctor and they are working on him, particularly forcing him to sleep with his medication. His marriage is in jeopardy, everything is in jeopardy.

I am so sad about this that i am having trouble figuring out how to deal with it. I can’t do anything to help.

I’m hoping someone on here can say something to make me feel better.

thanks everyone.

March 23, 2015 at 5:40 pm #21329

Zooey
Moderator

I am very sorry to hear this, Herzog. I wish there was something I could do or say to help. Hopefully you can take some solace in knowing that you are among friends here, and we all are saddened at your pain. I hope the best for you, your nephew, and the family as you struggle through this, hopefully to a positive outcome.

Keep us posted.

Be well, my friend.

March 23, 2015 at 6:10 pm #21332

wv
Participant

I dunno, Herzog. I think sometimes you
just have to go ahead and feel sad.
I mean, its a sad thing.

Keep us posted.

w
v
“We must learn to regard people less in the light of what they do or omit to do,
and more in the light of what they suffer.”
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer

March 23, 2015 at 6:44 pm #21335

nittany ram
Moderator

I’m sorry to hear that, Herzog. There is nothing I can say to make this better but at least know you are not alone in this in that there are people on this board that care about you.

Keith

March 23, 2015 at 6:53 pm #21336

Herzog
Participant

I’m having trouble understanding how this could happen. It’s not making sense to me.

March 23, 2015 at 9:35 pm #21346

zn
Moderator

Herzog wrote:

I’m having trouble understanding how this could happen. It’s not making sense to me.

Sometimes, the billiard balls of physical environment and genetic disposition and some stray thing in the air just all hit wrong at the wrong time in the wrong place for no reason at all. No reason other than life can be frail and vulnerable. I understand how you feel. I lost a nephew to something that just hit overnight, when my father died suddenly there were no warning signs, and my sister has cancer. Others on this board have seen worse than me in their lives when it comes to that. We are here to hear every word, if that helps at all. Keep us informed.

March 24, 2015 at 12:00 am #21366

PA Ram
Participant

Hang in there, Herzog.

The important thing is that he’s getting treatment. Everyone thinks about physical issues in regard to health but mental health issues do not get the attention they deserve. All you can do is be there if you’re needed and offer all the support you can. I feel mentally attached to any sort of thing my kids are having at any given time. That goes both good and bad. When it’s a good thing it lifts my own spirits and when it’s bad, I feel it in my gut.

That’s love.

I wish you and your family the best.

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away. " Philip K. Dick

March 24, 2015 at 9:09 pm #21399
bnw
Blocked
I am sorry to learn about your nephew and your concern. It seems very odd for a newlywed to be unable to sleep. It can be a vicious cycle. Not to come off as a cave man but I wonder if serious physical activity has been attempted? Separate beds? Sleep study? I’m very leery of medication especially in regards to sleep for someone young I assume? Hang in there and offer what support you can. Good luck.
- This reply was modified 9 years, 9 months ago by bnw.
The upside to being a Rams fan is heartbreak.

Sprinkles are for winners.
March 25, 2015 at 1:49 pm #21426

Herzog
Participant

Yeah he’s young, 22 years old.

Thanks you all for the support. I have no new updates, but it sure helps to have y’all.

March 28, 2015 at 9:34 pm #21704

TSRF
Participant

Hey Herzog.

I’ve been viewing this thread for a while, and haven’t replied until now because frankly I wasn’t sure if what I had to say would be helpful.

I too have used this particular board (and its other incarnations on other sites) to dig into the dirt of my psyche. For the most part, it has been helpful, but painful too.

My only advice is, don’t be sad, especially in front of your family. Be concerned, be angry if you have to be; be supportive. Maybe it is just semantics, but my understanding is sadness is an emotion felt regarding past events that cannot be changed. You, your family, your nephew hopefully aren’t at a point of no return.

March 29, 2015 at 11:59 pm #21733

Eternal Ramnation
Participant

There are some very effective strains of cannabis for sleep,non addictive and not toxic like the Rx stuff. I’m curious as to which religion ? No judgement but I have read of some bad meditation/breathing exercises being pushed online with some of the symptoms being depression and hallucination where good meditation practice is the opposite of hallucination.

April 6, 2015 at 5:44 pm #22260

Herzog
Participant

TSRF wrote:

Hey Herzog.

I’ve been viewing this thread for a while, and haven’t replied until now because frankly I wasn’t sure if what I had to say would be helpful.

I too have used this particular board (and its other incarnations on other sites) to dig into the dirt of my psyche. For the most part, it has been helpful, but painful too.

My only advice is, don’t be sad, especially in front of your family. Be concerned, be angry if you have to be; be supportive. Maybe it is just semantics, but my understanding is sadness is an emotion felt regarding past events that cannot be changed. You, your family, your nephew hopefully aren’t at a point of no return.

Wow….wonderful perspective. I’m gonna chew on that one. Please never hesitate telling me anything ever again…..and thank you so much.

April 27, 2015 at 3:43 pm #23227

Dak
Participant

Sorry, haven’t been on this forum in a while. Been busy trying to get my house for sale. Thought I’d come over here just to see what’s going on. I’m so sorry to hear about your nephew’s condition, Herzog. I hope things are going better.

I will say that trying to find a reason for this type of affliction can drive people a little crazy. I know that some Christians will say it’s God’s will, He has a plan for all of us, and He won’t give us more than we can handle … I ain’t one of those people. Of the little I’ve learned about life, I believe that in times like these, it’s best to concentrate on what we can control. You, personally, may not be able to do anything, and you have to come to terms with that. Now, if you CAN help the family in some small way, whether it’s taking your nephew to a treatment once in a while or just being there to watch a pet … whatever … you may find that your “tiny” contribution is appreciated a hundred-fold.

Good luck to you, your nephew and your family, Herzog.

May 4, 2015 at 6:17 pm #24033

Herzog
Participant

Dak wrote:

Sorry, haven’t been on this forum in a while. Been busy trying to get my house for sale. Thought I’d come over here just to see what’s going on. I’m so sorry to hear about your nephew’s condition, Herzog. I hope things are going better.

I will say that trying to find a reason for this type of affliction can drive people a little crazy. I know that some Christians will say it’s God’s will, He has a plan for all of us, and He won’t give us more than we can handle … I ain’t one of those people. Of the little I’ve learned about life, I believe that in times like these, it’s best to concentrate on what we can control. You, personally, may not be able to do anything, and you have to come to terms with that. Now, if you CAN help the family in some small way, whether it’s taking your nephew to a treatment once in a while or just being there to watch a pet … whatever … you may find that your “tiny” contribution is appreciated a hundred-fold.

Good luck to you, your nephew and your family, Herzog.

Thanks Dak.

I’ll take this opportunity to update everyone on how he is doing. After going to the psychiatrist several times, who gave him medication to sleep, he has been sleeping a lot. That alone didn’t solve the problem, but he has improved significantly. Than, his father took him to Africa for about ten days. No electronics, just him, his dad, a lot of good food and table top mountain. There is also two oceans apparently. It really did the trick.
Last week, his wife called and told him and his family that she is going to file for divorce. I flew to Chicago immediately and spent the last weekend with them. While the circumstance is very sad, it is now something that I feel much better about. He is talking, thinking and behaving exactly like he used to. The psychiatrist was surprised and happy that he has come so far.

He now will have to face another challenge, but we are all here for him, and I believe he will be fine eventually. I thank you all for such great support and for being my friends.

Thank you all so much.

Reyan aka “Herzog”

May 5, 2015 at 5:22 pm #24133

Dak
Participant

Well, that all sounds encouraging, Reyan. Thank you for the update. I wondered how he was doing.

May 5, 2015 at 9:07 pm #24162

zn
Moderator

Herzog wrote:

He now will have to face another challenge, but we are all here for him, and I believe he will be fine eventually. I thank you all for such great support and for being my friends.

This is good to hear.

But, I wonder. Did the divorce come because of the stress he was showing?

Or was the stress coming from something in the marriage that foreshadowed the divorce?

I don’t mean to pry, or anything like that. I just wonder if he was responding to a situation. Maybe that’s just me looking for an easy explanation.

Rick

May 12, 2015 at 1:58 pm #24461

Herzog
Participant

I think it was a response the something foreshadowing the divorce. He has relapsed into some craziness, and i am wondering if he just will never be the same again.

He is not comprehending the divorce. Trying to “make things work”. She has told him several times outright that she wants a divorce and that she has no other intentions.

Now her family is telling him. Our whole family is telling him, and he doesn’t get it. He still posts her picture on facebook and captions it as “the greatest blessing in my life”. He doesn’t even realize she is trying to divorce him. She lives somewhere else, and isn’t responding to his phone calls or texts.

May 16, 2015 at 2:20 am #24635

InvaderRam
Moderator

wow. hang in there. mental illness can be a tough thing to come to grips with. for everyone involved. be well. and i hope everyone involved finds peace.
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