Well, we made it through 12/14, Christmas and New Years. It helped that I’ve been off work the last two weeks.

My daughter did get to see somebody and was diagnosed with PTSD. The hope is that with therapy, she’ll be able to learn how to recognize the panic attacks for what they are and learn how to control them. Fortunately or unfortunately, she won’t have a problem finding a support group in Boston…She’s been home for over two weeks without an incident, so I’m hopeful the worst is over.

My son has come to terms with his asshole teacher. He’s been putting more effort into his homework for Middle Eastern studies than it deserves, but he’s gotten 10 out of 10 on his last three homework’s and now has a 92 average (meanwhile, he has a 97 in physics with less effort; go figure). His new hang up is that he’ll never get better at the trumpet because his mouth is the wrong shape. He can consistently hit and hold a high B Flat and he’s only 15, so I don’t think there is a problem there but we are going to get him a professional teacher (he’s been taking lessons with the same guy since 5th grade, I think he has outgrown him). I wonder, though, if my son has the same issue as my daughter, but his coping mechanism is to find something to be angry about.

I lost an old friend recently. I went to the funeral yesterday. I hadn’t seen him in about 25 years, but we had gone through 8 years of Catholic grade school (yes, nuns) and 4 years of Jesuit high school together. I loved him like a brother, meaning I despised him about 50% of the time, tolerated him about 25% and actually enjoyed his company about 25%. Most of the really bad things I’ve done, free base, angel dust, LSD, I did with him. I was lucky to break away from that by my second year of college, mainly because I had to pass a drug test for a co-op job, but I guess he never stopped. Well, until now. 50 is way too young. Shine on, Joe.

Here’s to a better, happier, healthier, safer new year for all.

Matt

New e-mail I got. Please cut and paste the link and watch the video.

Matt,

In two days, we’ll mark the second anniversary of the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary that claimed the lives of 20 children and six educators and left a gaping, permanent hole in our community.

Since Dec. 14, 2012, all of us at Sandy Hook Promise have learned much about the roots and causes of gun violence – and the devastation it leaves behind. But above all else, we now know that every gun-related death is a preventable death.

We also know that behind the terrible statistics – 2,500 children were killed by gun violence last year alone – are families like ours: families torn apart, reliving their worst nightmares day after day; families hoping their child didn’t suffer and agonizing over what they might have done; families determined to spare others their unspeakable loss.

Sandy Hook Promise spoke at length with three of those families. We captured these conversations on film, producing a short documentary that is equal parts chilling, sad, and frustrating – because each of these tragic deaths might have been prevented if someone had spoken up, securely stored their firearm, or known how to recognize and respond to a dangerous situation.

We need as many people as possible to watch and share this short documentary so that we as parents, grandparents, neighbors, and friends can watch for concerning behavior and protect all our children. In honor of our tragic anniversary, please watch and share now – because by raising awareness, you may literally save lives.

Click here to watch our Sandy Hook Promise documentary “What They Left Behind” about the heart-wrenching impact of gun violence on three families and how it may have been prevented. Then, share it with as many friends and loved ones as you can.

Watch the video here (sorry, you’re going to have to cut and paste into your browser (I’m an Electrical Engineer, not a Computer Engineer):

http://www2.sandyhookpromise.org/

As our own Mark Barden, Daniel’s father, says in the film, our responsibility as parents transcends our own children; we also need to look out for our neighbors and their children. Sometimes a voice from outside will notice and bring light to something almost too close for a family to see.

This is why, despite tragedy after tragedy and statistics that keep rising, there is hope: There is something – many things – we can do to stop this awful epidemic and make lasting change.

Sandy Hook Promise’s Say Something program empowers parents and children to speak up if they see a threat. Our Know The Signs program is giving schools and communities the tools to spot problems before tragedies occur. And our Keep It Safe & Secure program is working to keep firearms locked up and out of the hands of children and teens.

In other words, we’re not willing to throw up our hands and say the problem is just too big or simply accept regular heartbreak as the norm – and we know you’re not either.

So please, watch “What They Left Behind” now and help spread the word so we can prevent future tragedies.

Please hug the children in your life extra tight this Sunday – as I will – and keep safe this holiday season. And if you’re at all concerned by anything you see, say something. It’s the single best thing you can do as a friend, as a neighbor, and as a parent.

Thank you so much for your continued love and support – it truly means the world to all of us at Sandy Hook Promise.

Sincerely,

Tim Makris
Executive Director
Sandy Hook Promise

Donate

Hey, 60 is the new 30! You better have some goals left!

My wife and I both turned 50 this year, but we have an 18 year old in college and a 15 year old in high school to keep us young.

I’m OK for now. What set me off was my daughter’s anxiety attack. She’s a better person than I have ever hoped to be; kind, compassionate, open heart and helping hands, and to have her feel so afraid made me angry.

I guess my insurance sucks, the earliest she can meet with a doctor is 12/16. Her last final is 12/19.

I’ll take “angry” for now, it should get me through the year.

SDRAM, thanks for responding and thank you for sharing.

I can’t even imagine what you must have gone through.

I didn’t lose anybody close, I just live in this town, I don’t know why I feel so broken; people are killed every fucking minute in the world.

Maybe I’ll go get help.

Zack, I was being a bit tongue in cheek with the Catholic schooling thing, but I went through 12 years of it, my last 4 being at a Jesuit all boys High School. So speaking from experience, I can say that an experience like that can socially retard you…

Anyway, things had remained kind of status quo for a while, but my son has been different. The other night, I asked him, “Which class today was the most mentally taxing?” He said, “Middle Eastern, ’cause I had to sit there and ignore the asshole.”

This is only a half year course, so it is over before Christmas. My wife even started a count down for how many classes he has left.

I’ve been really torn because my son has asked several times that we not get involved. Anyway, it all came to a tipping point last night. Our next door neighbor is a guidance councilor in anther town. My son has an after school job of letting her dog out. She just called out of the blue and asked how his Sophmore year was going. My wife didn’t hold back, and explained the entire situation.

When my wife told her that she was saying things to our son like, “Well, he probably had a tough upbringing” she stopped her right there and said, “You never, EVER have to make excuses for teachers. They are paid professionals and are expected to behave as such.”

She then told us we had to contact his guidance councilor and tell her what is going on (she has three kids who went through our High School, all in their 20’s so she knows my son’s guidance councilor.

Meanwhile, my son had a presentation due in the class, and he put in over 20 hrs on a poster, a pater and a Power Point to make sure he nailed it. He presented this morning and got a 96 (which raised his grade to a 91; he’s got a 97 in Physics).

So, after we explained everything to the councilor, she wants to meet with my son on Monday. Then she suggested he meet with the teacher. We said, “No way!”. She then said she would sit in on the student teacher-meeting, but it would be all up to my son.

We haven’t told him yet; he has an audition for Jazz trumpet for CT Western Regional tomorrow and then his Marching Band is going to Met Life Stadium in NJ for nationals.

We’re going to tell him Sunday. He may want to not take it past a meeting with the councilor, which is fine with us, but I am going to impress on him that he needs top voice his feelings to her so that the admin can be on notice (when I first wanted to confront the teacher, my son said, “But he’ll just start picking on somebody else.” Pretty deep for a 15 year old; I’d have been happy not to be picked on anymore and leave the next kid hanging.

More to follow, I’m sure…

So it has been a full week, no further incidents.

Maybe my son’s e-mail where he questioned the teacher’s behavior was enough to make him back off.

Either he is really sensitive and backed off because he doesn’t want to get in trouble, or, (hoping) he did a little self examination of his actions and realized he was being a jerk.

If things stay as they are, I’m going to wait until my son is done with the class in December, get his grade (and it better be an “A”, the kid has a 97 in Honors Physics and a high 90 in Trig), and then I’ll talk to Mr. Dick.

I think I owe it to his future students to have a talk with him and let him know how shitty he made my son feel.

I’ve really relaxed here, and don’t feel the hate I was when I wrote the original post.

As I said in that post, the guy is a product of 8 years of Catholic school and is most likely socially retarded. I’m almost thinking in his warped way, he was trying to bring my son into his circle by picking on him.

Maybe he lives by the “golden rule”: Treat others as you want to be treated.

In reality, he should be acting according to the “platinum rule”: Treat others as they want to be treated.

Thanks to all,

Matt

Thank you all for your comments.
Thanks, Zack, for putting the link on the Football board.
It is amazing how many of you just nailed this guy: arrogant but insecure; sensitive to his own feelings, but mean to others.

My wife and I did the open house in September. We got to walk my son’s schedule and meet with all of his teachers in their rooms for about 10 minutes. Dick seemed nervous, but also arrogant too, the type of guy that would teach “the facts” per the textbook without much room for debate. I remember him saying something to the effect that, “Now that your children are in High School, they should deal with their issues as young adults, by themselves.” At the time, that just went in one ear and out the other, but isn’t that what bullies usually say, “Don’t tell.”?

The other point is, this is the only sophomore class he teaches. Every other class is freshmen. I don’t think he is used to backtalk (he is pretty physically imposing, probably about 6 ft 3, 220 lbs).

I can only hope my son questioning his behavior made him stop and think. The way he ended his e-mail “I won’t bother you any more.” has us hoping that that is the case.

We’ll see what Monday brings.

Thanks, guys. Very good advice from both of you.

We are very close to another teacher in the History Dept who served as my daughter’s mentor on leadership and social justice issues. He had my son last year for Western Civ, so he knows exactly how he works. My concern is, if we go and tell him what’s been going on, HE’LL go nuclear (which, in the long run might not be a bad thing, but I’m not to the point that I want to get Mr. Fuckhead fired (yet)).

Anyway, my wife was in the middle of typing an e-mail to Mr. D last night, but my son stopped her. He said that if there are any more incidents, we can do what we want, but he wants another shot at handling the situation.

Then he remembered that he needs to inform all of his teachers that he is going to be on a band trip to the Naval Academy in Annapolis over Halloween and that he’ll be missing class on that Friday.

He sent an e-mail to Mr. Dick stating that he will miss Friday, 10/31/14 with the band, if there was any homework due or a test or quiz that day, please let him know and he’d get it in or take the test early. Then, the very last sentence he wrote, “By the way, Mr. Dick: Why are you always asking me in class where Jason is?” and signed off.

My son was happy last night because he looked at his schedule and saw that he didn’t have Middle Eastern Studies today. That in itself makes me sad, but we’ll see what happens on Friday. If the jack wagon doesn’t take the hint from the e-mail, or escalates, no holds barred, I’ll call in the cavalry.