Question for my fellow leftists . . .

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  • #119046
    Billy_T
    Participant

    I’ve very recently had some really bad conversational moments with people close to me, on the subject of leftist philosophy/dreams, etc. and wondered if any of youze guys had similar experiences or relevant advice.

    (I tend to at least try to keep my online and offline life/lives separate to the degree possible, so won’t mention names or other personal details, etc.)

    In this particular case, I don’t think it’s a matter of changing the delivery or the subject matter per se, cuz said discussant just got upset and wanted to shut down the convo after I managed to get out roughly half a sentence, calling it stupid and impossible, won’t happen in a million years and so on. Not sure how to “make a point” when I can’t even finish a sentence. Also not sure how a person can be so absolutely sure that X, Y or Z is impossible, when they won’t even let X, Y or Z take any form beyond a coupla words.

    After the exchange, I tried to think of a good metaphor for what had happened, and it’s kinda like this: You want to show some people this new house that you really love, and the beautiful trip to that house, which you also think is magical, so everyone gets into the car to take that trip, but before you can even leave the driveway, everyone is arguing and calling for the journey to stop cold at the first attempted description of said house and journey.

    Another interesting detail, at least to me: We spent a good bit of time prior to getting into “politics,” talking about the NFL draft. Which went just fine. And even talk about current politics was fine, until my attempt at suggesting alternative systems. One of the objections from my fellow discussant was that this wasn’t “productive” at all. So I thought — too late, of course/after the convo — how “productive” is talk about the NFL draft? Why is it that discussions about alternative economic systems have to meet standards few other subject arenas require, evah?

    Thoughts?

    #119047
    Billy_T
    Participant

    Another kinda strange detail: The calls to just stop all talk about these alternative systems went on for some time. Strangely enough, the conversation lasted almost three hours. The door would be slammed shut, then reopen a crack, then close again, and so on. I think that aspect may be what has kept me up the last coupla nights.

    Oh, and the discussant is smart, well-educated, etc. This isn’t a matter of banging your head against the wall with someone who just won’t ever “get it” on most subjects.

    I wish I could have recorded the entire thing. Overall, a bizarre and frustrating situation, and by no means am I without fault in the matter. I share plenty of it.

    #119051
    zn
    Moderator

    This is just my own cranky POV. I just don’t do it. It’s like arguing about religion. People don’t listen and don’t want to listen. There’s no point. And tbh I won’t listen when a rightie wants to fill my ears. Fortunately, I have just enough of an “alternative lifestyle” vibe about me that that rarely happens. People see me and if they are righties, they just don’t raise political topics. I know all my neighbors are Trumpies but we all get along cause we discuss gardening and dogs.

    Lately I do have a thing with a couple of people in the extended family where if you are not an angry street fighting “anarchist” (not a philosophical anarchist, a full-blown throw rocks at the police like in Portland type) you are a sell-out. I don’t want to hear that either.

    Fortunately, most of the people I talk to at work or in the family are anywhere from liberal dems to no-party progressives.

    I have just enough in common with liberal dems to hold my tongue and just affirm the shared ground.

    I can’t preach, I don;t like to debate live with people if it can be awkward, and I don’t want to be converted. Online is different because you can walk away and not respond for hours, and you don’t have to let it be emotional in the moment. I am in a debate elsewhere with right-wing covid deniers. Mostly what I do there is back up, support, and assist the avid “on the side of reason” debaters. It’s just different than in person. If someone I knew for example wanted to deny to my face that racism is real, I would just feel this combination of sad and frustrated.

    So no I would never date a republican.

    #119056
    Billy_T
    Participant

    I get that, ZN. You are probably right about “not going there,” basically.

    Apologies if I misread you . . . but in this case, ironically, the discussant is one of those “liberal Dems.” Not a righty by any means. Despises them, when it comes to politics in general.

    It’s just a bridge too far, for this person, if the discussion moves to replacing current system with alternatives, and even the beginnings of a hint regarding this (in the conversation) seems to bring things to an instant boil.

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by Billy_T.
    #119059
    wv
    Participant

    I get that, ZN. You are probably right about “not going there,” basically.

    Apologies if I misread you . . . but in this case, ironically, the discussant is one of those “liberal Dems.” Not a righty by any means. Despises them, when it comes to politics in general.

    ===============

    BT, comrad…its ALWAYS the liberal-Dems, LoL.

    I got nuthin. I mean, i have been a ‘leftist’ for, say, a quarter of a century or so, and i have just pretty much, for-the-most-part, given up talking politics with anyone other than two groups: 1) Young, impressionable humans, who are still forming their ideas, and 2) Comrades.

    I mainly just stick to gardening, sports, movies, whatever, with non-comrades.

    …heck, i dont even like american-people, anymore. I like bats, moss, and tapirs.

    w
    v
    “I’m tired of this back-slappin’ “isn’t humanity neat” bullshit. We’re a virus with shoes.”
    ― Bill Hicks

    “I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.”
    ― Samuel Johnson

    #119063
    zn
    Moderator

    I get that, ZN. You are probably right about “not going there,” basically.

    Apologies if I misread you . . . but in this case, ironically, the discussant is one of those “liberal Dems.” Not a righty by any means. Despises them, when it comes to politics in general.

    It’s just a bridge too far, for this person, if the discussion moves to replacing current system with alternatives, and even the beginnings of a hint regarding this (in the conversation) seems to bring things to an instant boil.

    Yeah I’ve encountered that. Basically with libbie dems I assent to common ground but don’t push. I will darkly hint (“well to me national health insurance is more important”). Nothing comes of those discussions either.

    #119064
    Billy_T
    Participant

    WV and ZN (and various and sundry others):

    To make this even more confusssing . . . and at the risk of you guys giving up on me, too, for my part in all the confusssing ;>)

    This particular discussant and I were able to talk about AOC a bit, whom they said they admired . . . and that person sounded amenable to, even desirous of, the Nordic political model to some degree. And I was able to bring that up a coupla times for confirmation. Basically, they seemed to want some form of “social democracy” here, if it was doable, but were most concerned with getting Trump out, first and foremost. It was just the hint of a hint of an attempt to start up a discussion regarding the full replacement of capitalism that drove this person up the wall.

    As in, something to the effect of, “So you’d be fine with America becoming Scandinavia, in a sense?”

    “Yes. That’s well worth striving for.”

    “How about full-on economic democracy, and an attempt to level all hierarchies?”

    “Won’t happen in a million years and it’s crazy to even talk about it! Human nature, etc. etc.!”

    The Jekyll/Hyde thing kicked in once I tried to push beyond standard issue Nordic stuff.

    #119065
    Billy_T
    Participant

    “I’m tired of this back-slappin’ “isn’t humanity neat” bullshit. We’re a virus with shoes.”
    ― Bill Hicks

    “I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.”
    ― Samuel Johnson

    Good quotes, as always.

    E.M. Cioran was in a class by himself as a great humbug. Never liked his politics, but there were few philosophers who could match him, curmudgeon v. curmudgeon:

    No one recovers from the disease of being born, a deadly wound if there ever was one.

    There is no means of proving it is preferable to be than not to be.

    If we could see ourselves as others see us, we would vanish on the spot.

    It is not worth the bother of killing yourself, since you always kill yourself too late.

    Life is possible only by the deficiencies of our imagination and memory.

    If, at the limit, you can rule without crime, you cannot do so without injustices.

    I feel much better now.

    ;>)

    #119066
    Billy_T
    Participant

    The more I think about it, it’s on me, no matter how I slice it.

    Wrong to bring it up at all. Never gets anywhere. And I’m still seemingly incapable of bringing up even the preliminaries to a preliminary discussion, at least via spoken word.

    I think I’m more successful writing it down, but because I’ve attempted the out loud stuff with this and other people in my life, I think the written page is now out of the question too. They’d likely just hit delete.

    Oh, well. There’s always a full Rams season to look forward to, right?

    #119070
    zn
    Moderator

    “Won’t happen in a million years and it’s crazy to even talk about it! Human nature, etc. etc.!”

    That’s the primary symptom of ideology at work. It identifies an immutable, universal “human nature” which, by its “nature” so to speak will allow one kind of socio-political arrangement and not others. So that the system in question is naturalized.

    BTW I think that someone who is open to a Scandanavian arrangement is more that just a lib, they’re into the territory of progressive.

    But not all progressives agree on everything, as we know. I tend to take things like that one cookie at a time. If someone is down with the advanced-type new FDR stuff and social democracy and things like single-payer insurance for health care, that’s a lot.

    #119073
    Billy_T
    Participant

    “Won’t happen in a million years and it’s crazy to even talk about it! Human nature, etc. etc.!”

    That’s the primary symptom of ideology at work. It identifies an immutable, universal “human nature” which, by its “nature” so to speak will allow one kind of socio-political arrangement and not others. So that the system in question is naturalized.

    BTW I think that someone who is open to a Scandanavian arrangement is more that just a lib, they’re into the territory of progressive.

    But not all progressives agree on everything, as we know. I tend to take things like that one cookie at a time. If someone is down with the advanced-type new FDR stuff and social democracy and things like single-payer insurance for health care, that’s a lot.

    Good analysis, ZN.

    To make it easier, I’ll forego my usual strictures and say it’s a male sibling. And, yes, in some ways, one could call him a “progressive.” He’s not really quite in the AOC camp, but he likes her, admires her, and I think he’s on board with some of the things she’s calling for. But on the subject of a radical change to the economic system, and/or flattening hierarchies, it’s a big fat No Way. He’s very rigid about that. Again, he seems to get angry at even the inklings of a discussion on the subject. That “human nature” stuff kicks in, and even when I hesitantly tried to remind him of all the cultures that lived communally for the vast majority of human existence (so it can’t be a matter of human nature) he kinda shuts that talk down too. Angrily.

    He also mentioned that the only way we’d start fresh would be after a world-wide cataclysm. Not sure, but I think he might think I (and most socialists) want this, and I don’t. Quite the contrary. Quite the 180°, etc. I think we need to replace capitalism to avoid that world-wide cataclysm (via climate change).

    The frustrating thing for me is that I’m positive he doesn’t get my views, at all, but is certain he does, and won’t let me voice more than half a sentence to clarify. I have a feeling he thinks I want everything to “go back” to ancient village life, without any “modern” innovations, and that if we got rid of capitalism and replaced it with economic democracy, that’s where we’d be.

    Also, I’m not trying to get him to join me, agree with me, become a leftist. I really just want him to understand where I stand. That’s important to me. That family understand this. Based on recent conversations, however, I think that’s never going to happen, and it makes me, well, beyond sad.

    Again, he’s well-educated and smart. This just seems to be a real sore spot for him, and he just won’t brook dialogue that might alter set-in-stone viewpoints.

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by Billy_T.
    #119077
    zn
    Moderator

    The frustrating thing for me is that I’m positive he doesn’t get my views, at all, but is certain he does, and won’t let me voice more than half a sentence to clarify. I have a feeling he thinks I want everything to “go back” to ancient village life, without any “modern” innovations, and that if we got rid of capitalism and replaced it with economic democracy, that’s where we’d be.

    Also, I’m not trying to get him to join me, agree with me, become a leftist. I really just want him to understand where I stand. That’s important to me. That family understand this. Based on recent conversations, however, I think that’s never going to happen, and it makes me, well, beyond sad.

    Again, he’s well-educated and smart. This just seems to be a real sore spot for him, and he just won’t brook dialogue that might alter set-in-stone viewpoints.

    Yeah that’s another symptom of ideology at work. A belief so deep rooted, that evidence or rational discussion is literally meaningless. It just gets people to dig in more. Like in Spinal Tap–but this one goes to 11.

    I know what you’re saying. Sometimes people change. Though…counting on it is seldom a good use of time.

    I have been in face-to-face debates with libbies about health care, and my experience was, I might as well have been speaking an alien language. And I made every effort to just be calmly reasonable.

    If I am going to end up in a face-to-face debate now, it’s withstanding stuff from the Oregon-style street “anarchist” types (as we know, not informed philosophical anarchists). They see me as this old sell-out. They don’t listen, or want to. The way they see it, I’m either totally in step with them or completely useless. I change the subject. Cooking is a good subject change topic.

    #119097
    Billy_T
    Participant

    The way they see it, I’m either totally in step with them or completely useless. I change the subject. Cooking is a good subject change topic.

    Isn’t it more about a certain kind of cooking with you? Be honest, now:

    #119098
    Billy_T
    Participant

    Oh, and the cook has a name, right?

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