I’d sign him to a one year, incentive-laden contract with performance based benchmarks.
He has been coasting along on his reputation as of late.
For example, to be paid $20.00 per post maybe he should have to maintain a minimum of 6 “witty retorts” per “I dunno”, instead of the 1:1 WR:ID ratio he’s been posting with over the last few years.
And maybe at least one “Gee, nittany, you’re right. How insightful. I never thought about it like that before.” response per day. I mean, he knows I’m right, so why shouldn’t he acknowledge it?