Help with bullying issue

Thank you all for your comments.
Thanks, Zack, for putting the link on the Football board.
It is amazing how many of you just nailed this guy: arrogant but insecure; sensitive to his own feelings, but mean to others.

My wife and I did the open house in September. We got to walk my son’s schedule and meet with all of his teachers in their rooms for about 10 minutes. Dick seemed nervous, but also arrogant too, the type of guy that would teach “the facts” per the textbook without much room for debate. I remember him saying something to the effect that, “Now that your children are in High School, they should deal with their issues as young adults, by themselves.” At the time, that just went in one ear and out the other, but isn’t that what bullies usually say, “Don’t tell.”?

The other point is, this is the only sophomore class he teaches. Every other class is freshmen. I don’t think he is used to backtalk (he is pretty physically imposing, probably about 6 ft 3, 220 lbs).

I can only hope my son questioning his behavior made him stop and think. The way he ended his e-mail “I won’t bother you any more.” has us hoping that that is the case.

We’ll see what Monday brings.

So it has been a full week, no further incidents.

Maybe my son’s e-mail where he questioned the teacher’s behavior was enough to make him back off.

Either he is really sensitive and backed off because he doesn’t want to get in trouble, or, (hoping) he did a little self examination of his actions and realized he was being a jerk.

If things stay as they are, I’m going to wait until my son is done with the class in December, get his grade (and it better be an “A”, the kid has a 97 in Honors Physics and a high 90 in Trig), and then I’ll talk to Mr. Dick.

I think I owe it to his future students to have a talk with him and let him know how shitty he made my son feel.

I’ve really relaxed here, and don’t feel the hate I was when I wrote the original post.

As I said in that post, the guy is a product of 8 years of Catholic school and is most likely socially retarded. I’m almost thinking in his warped way, he was trying to bring my son into his circle by picking on him.

Maybe he lives by the “golden rule”: Treat others as you want to be treated.

In reality, he should be acting according to the “platinum rule”: Treat others as they want to be treated.

Thanks to all,

Matt

Zack, I was being a bit tongue in cheek with the Catholic schooling thing, but I went through 12 years of it, my last 4 being at a Jesuit all boys High School. So speaking from experience, I can say that an experience like that can socially retard you…

Anyway, things had remained kind of status quo for a while, but my son has been different. The other night, I asked him, “Which class today was the most mentally taxing?” He said, “Middle Eastern, ’cause I had to sit there and ignore the asshole.”

This is only a half year course, so it is over before Christmas. My wife even started a count down for how many classes he has left.

I’ve been really torn because my son has asked several times that we not get involved. Anyway, it all came to a tipping point last night. Our next door neighbor is a guidance councilor in anther town. My son has an after school job of letting her dog out. She just called out of the blue and asked how his Sophmore year was going. My wife didn’t hold back, and explained the entire situation.

When my wife told her that she was saying things to our son like, “Well, he probably had a tough upbringing” she stopped her right there and said, “You never, EVER have to make excuses for teachers. They are paid professionals and are expected to behave as such.”

She then told us we had to contact his guidance councilor and tell her what is going on (she has three kids who went through our High School, all in their 20’s so she knows my son’s guidance councilor.

Meanwhile, my son had a presentation due in the class, and he put in over 20 hrs on a poster, a pater and a Power Point to make sure he nailed it. He presented this morning and got a 96 (which raised his grade to a 91; he’s got a 97 in Physics).

So, after we explained everything to the councilor, she wants to meet with my son on Monday. Then she suggested he meet with the teacher. We said, “No way!”. She then said she would sit in on the student teacher-meeting, but it would be all up to my son.

We haven’t told him yet; he has an audition for Jazz trumpet for CT Western Regional tomorrow and then his Marching Band is going to Met Life Stadium in NJ for nationals.

We’re going to tell him Sunday. He may want to not take it past a meeting with the councilor, which is fine with us, but I am going to impress on him that he needs top voice his feelings to her so that the admin can be on notice (when I first wanted to confront the teacher, my son said, “But he’ll just start picking on somebody else.” Pretty deep for a 15 year old; I’d have been happy not to be picked on anymore and leave the next kid hanging.

More to follow, I’m sure…