Funny how it all came about, but to make a long, painful story short, two of my neighbors are in a property dispute; one has been operating a honest to god sand quarry in his back yard for over a year and actually encroached on my other neighbor and stole at least 350 cubic yards of prime septic fill.
This is all happening in my and my next door neighbor’s back yard. My next door neighbor and my wife are rightfully worried about the quarry encroaching onto our yards and / or our wells getting fucked up (the quarry guy started bringing in questionable fill, saying the whole point is to make a “safe” flat back yard where his kids can play).
Anyway, we got local government, including the first selectman involved. She talks a good game, but basically stated this is between the two neighbors, and the town can’t be held liable (even though they granted a permit without having a survey in place).
For yesterday’s election, she ran on the Republican ticket unopposed. I couldn’t vote for her, or even leave it blank (like I did for the rest of the Republicans running unopposed). So I filled in the “write in” oval, and thought and thought, and it just came to me: Bigfoot.
Who would hate a giant sand pit being carved into an otherwise wooded hill? Bigfoot!
Who would gleefully rip off the unlicensed excavator’s head and shit down his throat? Bigfoot!
Who would make sure my secret ganja patch would stay secret (only taking his fair share)? Bigfoot!
The choice was so clear, it was a no-brainer.
I wonder, if I thought of this a few weeks earlier and spread the word, whether we could have mounted a relevant Bigfoot write in campaign.
Maybe I should take it national next year, especially in His range…